Instant Message
by Summers-Girl
Summary: Buffy and Xander talk over IM and reveal their feelings towards one another. Short fic set in Joss Whedon's Season 8. BuffyXander


_Buffianator has signed in._

**Xand-Man:** Hey, found your way around Berkley then?

**Buffinator:** No. Just found a laptop.

**Xand-Man:** 'Found' Buff?

**Buffinator:** I didn't steal it.

**Xand-Man:** I didn't say you did.

**Buffinator:** You implied.

**Xand-Man:** I imply many things. I am implication man extraordinaire. So, found ze guy yet?

**Buffinator**: Thrice-Wise Guy? No, but he's around here somewhere

**Xand-Man:** Probably just hiding. Or eating. Or turning other girls into giants.

**Buffinator:** So he gives me sister a growth spurt and he's cheating on her? That boy is all kinds of dead.

**Xand-Man:** So, what ya gonna do until you find him?

**Buffinator:** Sharpen an axe. Possibly go see a movie. Could go either way. I saw a cute shoe store on the way here. That might win the tie.

**Xand-Man:** At the risk of sounding Giles-esque, you already have far too many shoes Buffy. Like Manolo Blahnik's jealous.

**Buffinator:** You know who Manola Blahnik is? No guy knows that. No straight guy anyway.

**Xand-Man**: Now who's implying?

**Buffinator:** There's no implying. I'm implication adjacent. I'm in conclusion land.

**Xand-Man:** Okay, you would think after eight years people would forget about the gay jokes.

**Buffinator:** You _were_ Larry's bestest bud...

**Xand-Man:** I WAS NOT

**Buffinator:** No need to shout.

**Xand-Man:** Not shouting.

Buffinator: All caps dude. Online shouting abounds.

**Xand-Man:** Do you want me to leave? Coz I will.

**Buffinator:** Fine. I'm rolling my eyes. You may not be able to see it, but be assured I am.

**Xand-Man:** I'm assured. Now do you wanna know what we've found out on this upside down frown sign deal?

**Buffinator:** With the star in the corner? Book me.

**Xand-Man:** Well, so far, we've found it to be the original design for Colombia Tristar before they went for the unicorn/lady lib deal.

**Buffinator:** You're a terrible Watcher.

**Xand-Man:** I'm NOT a Watcher.

**Buffinator:** Xand, the only reasons your not wearing glasses and cleaning them furiously in frustration is because you have an eyepatch instead. You're like comic book Watcher.

**Xand-Man:** Getting better.

**Buffinator:** And since Giles seems to be getting jiggy with Faith now...I kinda need a new favorite Watcher...

**Xand-Man:** I thought I was always your favorite?

**Buffinator:** I thought you said you weren't a Watcher.

**Xand-Man:** It's a thing.

**Buffinator:** Our lives suck. Things seemed weirdly simpler in Sunnydale.

**Xand-Man:** Yes. The Mayor 'I just wanna be a big snake' and The Master's 'I want to break free' Those were the days.

**Buffinator:** Blowing things up seemed to always be the answer.

**Xand-Man:** Probably why we ended up blowing up Sunnydale. We were a bad influence on Spike.

**Buffinator:** Spike in himself was a bad influence. Haha.

**Xand-Man:** You miss him don't you?

**Buffinator:** I don't know...maybe.

**Xand-Man:** You do.

**Buffinator:** Stop being insightful.

**Xand-Man:** Hey, it's what I do.

**Buffinator:** You wish.

**Xand-Man:** Buff, if I say something to you do you promise not to wig?

**Buffinator:** Okay, indicate next time you change direction. Erm, sure...I won't wig. Unless you say you're joining Viva Las Gaygus then I may wig.

**Xand-Man:** Again with the gay jokes. They just a keep on comin don't they?

**Buffinator:** It's like a gift

**Xand-Man:** Buffy.

**Buffinator**:...Xander.

**Xand-Man**: Buffy, I love you.

**Xand-Man**: I mean of the 'in' variety.

**Xand-Man**: Buffy?

**Xand-Man**: Buff?

**Xand-Man**: You're wigging aren't you?

**Buffinator**: No. No wig. I'm wig free. Just really...really...really...speechless.

**Xand-Man**: Right.

**Buffinator:** I love you too.

**Xand-Man**: I get why it would be weird.

**Xand-Man**: Wait, I typed that before you typed yours and after careful re-reading- WHAT????!!!!!

**Buffinator:** Ooh, gotta book. Giant Boy at 2 o clock. We'll talk later.

Xand-Man: He can wait!!!

_Buffinator has signed off._

**Xand-Man:** Crap.


End file.
